What’s Your Story?

What’s your story? We all have one. It is our go-to dialog about why we are the way we are; why we do what we do; why we make excuses; why we limit ourselves when in fact, we can fly. It is the inner dialog that keeps us bound to the past or propels us to our future. 

If you are of the frame of mind in which your story becomes your inspiration and motivation than you’re moving in the right direction. 

But, what if your story becomes your limitation in which you are bound to the negative chatter that flutters in and out of your thoughts.  While we are all prone to this, it's important to learn how to move beyond these limiting beliefs. You certainly don't want to be captive to them.

If you listen, really listen to yourself, you can determine how your story is affecting your life. Are you moving forward and using your life's experiences as a motivator OR are you letting your life's experiences hold you back. Are you the hero of your tale or the victim of your tale?

The hero might say something like, "OK that was a bit rough and I didn't do well BUT I know what to do now and I can do it."

OR

"You just don't understand. My situation is very different from yours. This always happens to me. I'm just no good."

Who do you want to be?

In one of my horse camps, I put a young student on Gucci, a big 17 hand Dutch Warmblood. A gentle giant, but big! Right off the bat, the student rode as if she had never been on a horse before.

“I think I need a different horse.”

“Nope. You have Gucci. You have to figure it out.”

All of her skill went out the window as she crumbled to the notion that she didn't know what she was doing. Her inner dialog kept telling her she was not skilled enough to handle a big horse. As a result she kept manifesting what her negative thoughts were telling her.

"I cannot ride this big horse. I don't know how to ride him."

As I watched her struggle for a bit I told her to ride the horse like she was riding Kanda, a small horse she rides extremely well. Boom! Off she went at a fluid, soft trot. As the morning progressed her riding improved hoof beat by hoof beat. In fact, it was the best riding I have seen her do to date. She said it was because of Gucci to which I adamantly disagreed.

“This has everything to do with you. Gucci was just happy to comply with who you chose to be in the saddle.”

“Well, I LOVE this horse.”

Translate her statement and what she is really saying is, "I'm capable. I'm good enough. And I had FUN!"

Although she wanted to give all the credit to Gucci, in truth it belongs to her.

Limiting beliefs are just that, limiting beliefs that hinder our actions and our efforts and keep us stuck. Stuck in a place we really do not need to be. I have seen examples of this over and over again in my arena until the kids learn otherwise. 

While positive thinking is a part of the solution to the repetitive story of “I am not good enough” there is more to the tale. And this requires taking action steps.  The idea in moving

forward is to take BIG action, SLAY the dragon, and STEP right on that limiting belief, as you work towards the goal at hand.

I asked the kids, “What are you thinking when things go south in your ride?” The responses were very telling.                                                                                             

“It’s too hard. I can’t do this.”

“I am not good enough. I am stupid.”

“Everyone else is better than me."

Typically this results in bad feelings and the common denominator of “I am not good enough.”

At this point, I ask the kids to SQUISH those thoughts as they come tumbling into their mind and replace the limiting beliefs with something more effective.

"Try this guys. Start riding in the frame of mind that you have already accomplished your goal. Visualize it and say to yourself ..."
“I rode to the cone.”
“I picked up the lope on the count of 3.”
“I connected to my horse and walked in partnership without a leadline.”

When a student approaches his riding from this angle, things begin to change one hoof beat at a time. The students body language changes to a more confident and powerful position in the saddle, which in turn affects the horse. The inner dialog changes to a positive, forward thinking conversation which in turn affects the horse. And the overall BIG action step of riding into the “I AM” creates positive results for both horse and rider.

As the kids learn this important life skill the potential for it to become the norm is right within their grasp, so when nagging negative thoughts enter the mind, they can simply bat them away like an annoying gnat.

Crush the stories that limit you. And start riding into your potential. Make it a daily practice to live in the “I AM” versus the “I CAN’T.” You might be surprised at how your life begins to change for the better even in the midst of adversity. 

Kim Chappell, M.Ed., Instructor and Equine-Facilitated Life Coach. Copyright 2023